At this moment, it is freedom

In this ordinary week, time seems to be flowing quietly, with no surprises or waves. I always feel that people need to write something for themselves. Whether the lies in Zhou Ji are true, anger, sadness or joy are like memorable bits in the hurried years. I didn't grow up to be the ideal of my childhood, even too ordinary and hasty, growing up in a regular way, but such a life, for me, is the best thing in the world, because I am the protagonist.

When I realized this, I gave up all my anxiety and bitterness, stopped my homework, rubbed my sore back from sitting for a long time, and immediately ordered McDonald's takeaway with my mobile phone. I can't describe this long-lost satisfaction, but at this moment it seems to belong only to me. Let the so-called label: self-discipline or lie down, go to hell.

From when, I no longer feel guilty for not getting up early on time, no longer worry about whether I can pass the exam or compare with others, no longer feel too low-grade because I watch family ethics dramas rather than American dramas, no longer do something I don't like because I'm afraid of disappointing others, and no longer care about the fluctuation on the scale. The decimal place no longer sleeps all night because of the future in three or five years... In countless ordinary days that passed in a hurry, I reconciled with myself like this. Even in my opinion, "reconciliation" is a hypocritical word. I just returned to myself to meet the accidents or surprises that may happen to me with an optimistic and positive attitude.

This feeling is really good.

When I haven't been able to define freedom, this unrestrained relaxation is the glittering candy in the miserable days.

In fact, at this point, I can't remember what I want to write. But you can also write something else. I think I should write "How to break the constraints and challenge some things that add color to youth" and think about living more freely.

I'm looking forward to the future.

Later, my roommate asked me, what's your next schedule? I want to say that let all uncertain futures go to hell. I just want to live in the present. But I haven't been able to say this yet. I'm not free enough. I'm still on my way to freedom. I summoned up the courage to write these words for myself. At least at this moment, it is freedom.